Tip #32: Do something and see Abolitionists the movie | Ask Angela

I went to see The Abolitionists last night – it’s a documentary about Tim Ballard and his team of abolitionists who are fighting to end the trafficking of children. 

For me, it was a moving film. I was moved by how much Ballard involved his faith in his quest as well as the ability of young rescued children to still find meaning and hope in their lives after enduring such terrible circumstances. 

I was also moved by the facts about how large the problem is – Human trafficking is the fastest growing international crime you can read more here.

Like most people in the audience I left the movie thinking a variety of things – 

  1. How can I help? Like, help for real?

  2. Even if I did help, would that help make a difference?

  3. Are my problems even real?? Comparatively speaking?

I don’t have answers for these, I’m still thinking. But a very powerful thought that I had all night last night was the idea that while we can’t do everything, we can do something. And a big and powerful focus of our lives can be to do something. This applies to challenges as large and as pervasive as human trafficking, but it also applies to the simple struggles that you face in your daily life. Maybe it all can’t be changed, fixed, or improved at once. But you can still do something. 

So what do you want to do?

Share your thoughts in the comments, and I’ll see you tomorrow!

 

Love,

Angela

Explore Different Talents on Saturdays | The Ask Angela Column

This thought just came to mind because today I wrote a rap verse and then recorded myself  “rapping” (read: talking and pretending I was Lauryn Hill and feeling so good about it.)

Why was I doing this? Because I’d finished all my other tasks for the day and I wondered if I could. I’ll attach the audio for you to hear, but the lesson that I learned was that it’s a best practice to wonder to yourself, “what am I capable of?”

We literally have no idea what our physical and mental limitations are – so why not set aside at least one day a week where we try to test those limits? And stretch whatever perceived boundaries we have?

I’m going to start trying this. What do you think you’d try first?

Leave your thoughts in the comments section.

Love,

Angela

 

 

Thoughts to help you love your job

heartThink about your job as a learning experience that you’re getting paid for.

Ask yourself: who can I met during this learning experience? What skill can I master? What can I create? What difficult personalities can I learn to navigate? Who can I take with me?

Commit yourself to participate in something extra (a panel discussion, a volunteer activity, a project outside of your team) at least once a quarter.

that your job is not your life. It is a part of your life for the amount of time that you feel is appropriate. Enjoy what you can gain from it and view everything as a learning experience.

Love,

Angela

 

4 Tips: Making New Friends

It’s hard. Try these: 

 

  1. Take one of the things you like doing by yourself and sign up to do it with other people. If working out is your thing, join a spin class, if singing is your thing, join a choir. You get it.

  2. Think positive thoughts about yourself. It’s hard to have the courage to talk to other people (yes for some of us it takes courage!) if swirling in your mind are thoughts like, “I’m not fun,” “I’m a bad conversationalist,” “He/she probably doesn’t want to talk to me,” “Why am I here??” “They must think  I’m weird because I’m not drinking.” Be positive about yourself. 

  3. Go when you’re invited placed. It’s like a rock and a hard place right? You don’t want to go because you don’t know anyone, but you need to go because you don’t know anyone…so what do you do? I’ll solve it for you: Go. The worst thing that can happen is that you’re uncomfortable for 5 minutes and then you find an excuse to get something out of your car and leave. The best thing that could happen is that you make some great new friends. 

  4. Siblings = Friends. I’m sure there are some only children reading this so replace sibling with “family.” The thought here is that your siblings have friends, tag along with them til you start to make your own. And if they don’t have friends either, go be social together. It’s easier when you’ve got a wing-sibling.

 

We could add a lot more to this list but here are our top 4. What do you do? Do you have a wing-sibling?

 

Love,

Angela

Dear Angela: I’m happily married but still thinking about my ex, help? | The Ask Angela Column

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I’ve been very happily married for 5 years but I still have deeply hurt feelings from the way I was treated in a relationship that ended 7 years ago. I assumed once I found the right one they would eventually fade away but I still think about this relationship fairly regularly. I don’t want to. I feel like maybe I just never got the closure I needed but I don’t know how to make that happen now. The guy and I aren’t in contact and I don’t think it would be appropriate to contact him anyway. What do I do? – Ave

Dear Ave,

Thank you for your question and I want to begin our conversation by asking you to ask yourself some questions.

1. What are these deeply hurt feelings that you have? Why are they painful for you now?

2. Did the person you were with 7 years ago change the way you viewed yourself? If so, in what ways?

3. What do you think would make you feel better?

Think about these, and respond, I’d love to talk with you about your experience. Break ups, even when they are for the better, are extremely difficult. I know I have a relationship from 10 yrs ago that I still consider from time to time and regret choices that I made. And honestly, that’s okay. We remember that we loved someone, we remember that we hated someone, we remember that we were hurt, we remember that we had fun, we remember, remember, remember…the challenge is to put those memories into the proper place in our minds and hearts – so that they don’t torment us in the present and block us from progressing forward.

Before I share my thoughts on how to do this, I’ll turn the topic to Ask Angela readers. What advice would you give Ave about navigating the feelings she’s experiencing?

Love,
Angela

4 Tips To Get Over Your Ex | Quickvice from The Ask Angela Column

Break ups are the worst. Here’s some moderately helpful advice.

breakups.png

  1. Don’t plan on getting back together. Thinking you’re getting back together will make you call him/her and calling him/her will lead to #3.

  2. Choose something you love and start trying to get really good at it. This will remind you that you’re really awesome and not all of the terrible things he/she said you were.

  3. Stop fighting with your ex, it just prolongs the inevitable and makes you guys hate each other more. Anytime you think, “I’ll just call him/her and have a pleasant conversation” or “I’ll just call him/her and try to explain what I think the problem is…” it won’t work and will end in a fight.

  4. Take little moments to cry and think about it and remind yourself that you’re on the road to feeling better.

 

This advice is semi-working…but I know there’s more out there. What are your best practices? Share in the comments.

 

xo,

Angela